Theo Theft might want to think twice about an escape plan if he ends up in this Louisiana prison.

Chief, a wolf-dog hybrid from Pointe Coupee Parish in Louisiana, frequently escaped from his owner’s property and reportedly scared neighborhood residents. After a number of complaints, a judge ordered Chief to be put down for aggressive behavior.

Luckily for Chief, officials at Angola Prison read about the dog and got in touch with the judge. Deputy Warden Bruce Dodd convinced the judge that Chief could be useful in patrolling the perimeter of the 18,000-acre prison, and now Chief is headed for a life sentence as a guard dog.

Though she’s happy that Chief’s not being put down, owner Vicky Smith is still not satisfied with the outcome, saying that Chief never bit anyone and is used to a life of air-conditioning and oatmeal breakfasts.

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Theo Theft has been up to some bizarre mischief down under after having a few too many drinks.

Dirk the penguin was recently stolen from Sea World Australia by a group of three friends. The men, who had been drinking and decided to break into the park as a prank, also stopped off to swim with dolphins as well.

After waking up and realizing one of them had brought a penguin home with them, the group dropped the penguin off in a nearby waterway, where it was later found by a couple after the bird had been scared out of the water and chased by a dog.

“He was extremely disheveled, he was quite exhausted last night after we did catch him but … he’s settled down well,” a Sea World spokesperson said.

The men face multiple charges as a result, and have apologized extensively for the prank gone too far, even sending a video to a news station to show they meant no harm to the penguin.

Said Rhys Jones, one of the men responsible, “Yeah I wouldn’t go stealing any animals. It’s not the brightest thing to do.”

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This month is National Poetry month, and today is Poem In Your Pocket Day. In honor of this celebration of poetry, we bring you our own ditty about avoiding those nasty Risk Monsters. Without further ado:

An Ode to Avoiding the Risks

The Risk Monsters are a troublesome bunch, happy to turn any situation dire—
Just ask Sigmund Storm, Harvey Hurricane, and Flint Fire.
As soon as you think life is rolling along peaceful as a tabernacle choir,
They’ll flare up and chuckle as the bills grow higher and higher.

And they’ve got other pesky friends that love to ruin undisturbed dwellings.
Felix Flood and Willy Water Damage are known for making a mess of things,
While Lyle Liability brings litigation and Theo Theft will steal your trappings.
But fear not, all hope is not lost for avoiding the despair a Risk brings.

At Bankers Insurance Group, we make it our mission to deliver reassurance.
Our goal here is to take the confusion and the fear out of buying insurance.
So whatever Risk may come, be it natural or a malfunctioning appliance,
We’ve got your back, standing hand-in-hand as an anti-Risk alliance.

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Get in touch today and let Bankers protect you from pesky risks.

There are some risks even renters insurance can’t cover.

Josue Chinchilla and Michele Callan of Toms River, N.J. are suing their landlord to get back their security deposit. After moving in the property March 1, the couples says they began hearing mysterious sounds in the basement, lights turned on and off by themselves, and their bedroom has been continuously haunted by a dark apparition. The couple also called in the Shore Paranormal Research Society to investigate their home. The result was an assessment of “paranormal,” but the team wouldn’t go so far as to call it “haunted.”

The landlord, Dr. Richard Lopez, has filed a countersuit, saying the couple broke their one-year lease. Lopez thinks the couple is using the alleged hauntings as a way out of a lease that ended up being too expensive.

The couple is now living in a motel.

Is the couple trying to get out of a lease, or is there a new, ghastly Risk Monster haunting the New Jersey home? Let us know what you think in the comments or connect with us on Twitter or Facebook.

Get in touch today and let Bankers protect you from the more tangible risks of the non-ghostly world.

It seems Theo Theft is upping his digital presence these days.

A 26-year-old man from Port Angeles, Wash. who has been in trouble with the law for home burglary, firearm theft and other crimes hasn’t checked in with his parole officer since January, and now he’s being sought after being involved in a domestic disturbance last month.

But evading police twice isn’t what is making Travis Nicolaysen appear in headlines—he’s also been keeping up on Facebook while on the run.

Not only does he respond to friends about getaways, but he also occasionally asks friends where he can stay for the night while on the lam. His Facebook page is filled with comments from friends, some cheering him on and some urging him to turn himself in.

For now, this social media-savvy fugitive is still on the run.

Get in touch today and let Bankers protect you from theft and other risks.

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Try as he might, Sigmund Storm couldn’t stop the baseball fun in Mississippi this week.

At Trustmark Park in Pearl, Miss., the Southern Miss and Ole Miss baseball teams decided to make the most of an extended rain delay. Human bowling, dance-offs, and a wet-tarp-turned-Baywatch-reenactment are just some of the creative ways the teams kept morale high through the delay.

Check out the video below for the highlights:

Get in touch and let Bankers protect you from Sigmund Storm’s drizzly disposition.

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Theo Theft is getting craftier, and it seems to be paying off much better than his last couple of ideas.

On November 26, 2011, the day after Black Friday, a man posing as a Brinks security guard walked casually into the back of an Aeropostale store in Sunrise, Fla. for what seemed to store employees to be a routine armored car pick-up. The manager of the store emptied the safe and gave the man, believed to be 24-year-old John Mortimer, all the cash inside. The total was $162,000.

The act was pulled off so convincingly that no one at the store realized they’d been robbed for 11 days. Because there are so many stores in this particular mall, even when the real Brinks guard showed up it didn’t raise any suspicion. “They [Brinks] may show up for a second pick up, and they’re told, ‘Hey, look, you guys already picked up earlier in the day,’ and that’s fine, so even at that point they weren’t clued into the fact that maybe there was an unlawful recovery of their money,” says Sunrise Police Detective Luis Fernandez.

The suspect is believed to have fled to Jamaica.

Get in touch today and let Bankers protect you from theft and other risks.

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Last week, London briefly tried out life on The Rock.

As part of a publicity campaign for the British premiere of J.J. Abrams’ new science fiction show, Alcatraz, guests at London’s Hotel Alcatraz got the Al Capone treatment.

Guests left their possessions at the door and were given a prison uniform, a towel, a book, and a roll of toilet paper to take to their room—a 5-foot-by-9-foot cell. Luckily for the guests, the grubby bathroom facilities were just for show, and private facilities were available.

The food was also worlds above prison food, of course—barbecue riblets, grilled chicken, and a Portobello burger were available and could be accompanied with wine. The schedule was regulated down to the minute, however, and guests were required to knit scarves out of yarn and make models out of Legos to earn back personal items. The “guards” were also playing the part, barking orders, chastising any smiling “convicts,” and keeping a silent jailhouse.

Of course, the guests were free to leave whenever they wanted, but most seemed to be genuinely affected by the lifelike surroundings. As one guest said, “I waited for 10 minutes before I finally worked up the courage to ask the guard to use the toilet, which seems crazy.”

“People may come in here with plans, but they end up just getting immediately taken in and accepting the energy of the place,” said one of the “guards.”

Next time Theo Theft goes across the pond, maybe he’ll feel a little more at home.

Get in touch today and let Bankers protect you from theft and other risks.

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See what other trouble Theo and the rest of The Risks have gotten into lately and follow their precarious pins on Pinterest!

Sigmund Storm’s blustery attitude is known around the globe, but it seems he’s expanding his territory.

Captured by the NASA Mars Orbiter on Feb. 16, this dust devil is estimated to climb more than half a mile high and stretch about 30 yards in diameter. Looks like this isn’t Sigmund’s first trip to outer space, either—in the surrounding areas on Mars’ surface, NASA found streaks left by many previous dusty twisters.

Here’s hoping it’s going to be a long, long time until Sigmund Storm makes his way back to Earth.

Get in touch today and let Bankers protect you from storms and other risks.

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Australia’s New South Wales has been hit hard by widespread flooding, causing over 10,000 people to be evacuated from their homes. See the video below for footage of the floods:

But the flooding has also left thousands of other creatures homeless—including spiders, which have seen a boom in numbers in the wet weather. To survive the rising waters, wolf spiders have spun countless webs across sticks and bushes, blanketing the area in an unsettling white cloud. See below for a few pictures of the eerie white webs:

Don’t let floodwaters catch you off guard. Get in touch today and let Bankers protect you from flooding and other risks.

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